[He's definitely shaken by the memory, but he's been hit with these painful memories enough that it's starting to adjust. It's hard, to remember how heartbroken and abandoned he felt in that moment, but he has other people who care about him the way Kray never did. He grits his teeth, and shakes his head.]
What, one guy turns out to be an asshole, and that means I get to be one, too? Nah. That's him. That's just him.
The memory starts off normally enough; he's writing letters. Two of them. One to a certain man, and one to his wife. The one to his wife will be sent with someone she trusts, who she's certain to listen to when she reads the truth about what this man has done.
And the one written to the Chief Cultivator, to Jin Guangyao-- this is a provocation.
He won't know that it's from Nie Huaisang, but he will know someone knows what he's done. That within seven days, his crimes will be exposed, and he will be killed-- that everyone will know exactly what he's really like, under the kind act he's put on.
It fooled Huaisang for a while, too. There's a flash of memory within the memory: a short man in yellow robes that match Jin Ling's, placing a hand on his shoulder, talking soothingly to him after Huaisang and his brother have argued again. Bringing him gifts, supporting him-- becoming a shoulder to cry on and a source of help following his brother's death, when an unprepared Nie Huaisang had suddenly been left all alone, and Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen supported his ascent to Sect Leader.
A genius move, he thinks, in retrospect. Install someone useless and give them advice on what to do, knowing they'll surely take it. Jin Guangyao must have thought for the last ten years that he was running the Nie Sect.
He never knew Huaisang well enough, though. Huaisang is too good an actor for him to have known. He's continued to cry on Guangyao's shoulder, to call him 'brother' while concealing exactly how much he wants the man dead, ever since he realized his brother's death wasn't an accident at all. To think Guangyao had the face to console him, to support him, with Nie Mingjue's blood on his hands-
His grip tightens too much on the pen, and Nie Huaisang sighs, finishing up and sealing his letters, turning to the caged bird he keeps in his room. "I think this should force him to act, don't you?" he asks, and it chirps words in return: I don't know! I really don't know!
He doesn't know just what the results will be yet, either, but-- it's time to put everything into motion. Jin Guangyao shouldn't survive; if Huaisang is lucky, he won't go down with him.
[Like. He was betrayed and still wants to trust people, but he still gets it.]
It's definitely way harder to trust people after something like that happened, right? Every time, I always think to myself, am I just being a big idiot again?
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What, one guy turns out to be an asshole, and that means I get to be one, too? Nah. That's him. That's just him.
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[-Because he can't say the same for himself.
The memory starts off normally enough; he's writing letters. Two of them. One to a certain man, and one to his wife. The one to his wife will be sent with someone she trusts, who she's certain to listen to when she reads the truth about what this man has done.
And the one written to the Chief Cultivator, to Jin Guangyao-- this is a provocation.
He won't know that it's from Nie Huaisang, but he will know someone knows what he's done. That within seven days, his crimes will be exposed, and he will be killed-- that everyone will know exactly what he's really like, under the kind act he's put on.
It fooled Huaisang for a while, too. There's a flash of memory within the memory: a short man in yellow robes that match Jin Ling's, placing a hand on his shoulder, talking soothingly to him after Huaisang and his brother have argued again. Bringing him gifts, supporting him-- becoming a shoulder to cry on and a source of help following his brother's death, when an unprepared Nie Huaisang had suddenly been left all alone, and Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen supported his ascent to Sect Leader.
A genius move, he thinks, in retrospect. Install someone useless and give them advice on what to do, knowing they'll surely take it. Jin Guangyao must have thought for the last ten years that he was running the Nie Sect.
He never knew Huaisang well enough, though. Huaisang is too good an actor for him to have known. He's continued to cry on Guangyao's shoulder, to call him 'brother' while concealing exactly how much he wants the man dead, ever since he realized his brother's death wasn't an accident at all. To think Guangyao had the face to console him, to support him, with Nie Mingjue's blood on his hands-
His grip tightens too much on the pen, and Nie Huaisang sighs, finishing up and sealing his letters, turning to the caged bird he keeps in his room. "I think this should force him to act, don't you?" he asks, and it chirps words in return: I don't know! I really don't know!
He doesn't know just what the results will be yet, either, but-- it's time to put everything into motion. Jin Guangyao shouldn't survive; if Huaisang is lucky, he won't go down with him.
But he's prepared to.]
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[It's. Hard for him to follow all of the political details in this. But he gets the gist of it.]
He pretended to be your friend all that time, even though . . . your brother. . .?
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...he made it look like it was something else. Nobody-- no one else knew. They've all trusted him.
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[Like. He was betrayed and still wants to trust people, but he still gets it.]
It's definitely way harder to trust people after something like that happened, right? Every time, I always think to myself, am I just being a big idiot again?
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[His brow furrows, a little.]
He wouldn't suspect me, but if anyone got too close and slipped-- he removed anyone he thought was a threat.
[Better not to risk anyone else, then, or risk them tipping his hand.]